When did this Happen: Adult?

How many times have you woken up realizing that you are an Adult? Adulthood comes with lot of responsibilities, you just cant wake up any where and everywhere. When you are an adult, you prefer to wake up in a familiar environment and in your own bed.

Its July and it sucks being an adult, another half year has passed and your brains starts the marathon of still To- Do list left for the year. Earlier I would have said Relax! , but no more as an Adult can I say Oh! five months  to New Year party.

Really five months that means 150 days, that's too much to do anything. The list includes getting married, keep working on losing weight, read books, move to organic stuff or healthy living, you know what I mean, read better books- start with Ignited Minds, start something - dont know yet what?, learn something - too old!. Life is pretty much running at its speed to complete the list. But how I just forgot to mention to fall in love in this list.

Well Love?? do I still believe that Love exists. Reminds me of the post from HNY which said "the more I fall in love, the less sure I am about it". Tried falling in love with people, places and passion, the only thing left is to fall in love with oneself.

So when on an early Wednesday morning 6:30am (IST) you get a call from across the globe and you just pause. Well the planning for next 5 months come to a halt, things will look different now. When did this happen, we actually became adults, it only started with paying our bills and now we pay for our mistakes as well.


You got to be responsible- Seriously??  Cant we turn back , its like going through second school where you only move forward one class after the other, completing the race.




You just can't stop being an adult and it Sucks!

Why Mumbai?

Because it is here , where I said THIS IS IT!!!

Almost thirty years of my life and I have never been to Goa, never started my day drinking beer. Never sat on a beach and just see the waves come and go. Or visited Sreecafe where cats come and sit next to you and the only talking you do is with yourself.

So whats stopping you?

These quotes; leave your job, travel. One day of adventure than thousand day of comfort, are all good to hear but what happens when you have to live them

You will live those days, look at your tattoo, it says 'This to shall pass' , dont wear a tattoo , live it as well. So what are you thinking about Mumbai?

It is a nice place, i love walking around in south mumbai, the regal cinema, the fountain, kitab khana, burma-burma, leopod, cafe mondegar and the sea- looks quite calm, but it is not.

What happens when you are in love- you wanted to hear those three words. And when you are not in love- you hear THIS IS IT.

My friend Ms. A says I have been in a bad marriage ( with my work)  and its me who has to decide, so with a lump in my throat I said This is it!!

Falling in love is not always a happily ever after story,and when the person you are trying to love is yourself- who is messed up- so confused- so irrational . You think , well will it be worth? But the fact is most love stories have been between to imperfect people in a perfect city.

So Mumbai- cheers to the break up and to the new not known beginnings.

Why Mumbai?

Life is strange and we all know it , but we just dont know how strange it can get. So what do you answer when somebody asks you Why Mumbai? 

On any sunny day I would have been in a defensive mode and answered well, but on a day like this I answered, well I dont know most of the Why's in my life. I wish I knew. And then on a normal tuesday without a bottle of wine I chose to reply I have come here to fall in love.

Love?  Its like those people who go to Netherlands to find a spiritual teacher and not to Himalayas.

I smiled , well I think when you are not thirty but almost thirty and you dont believe in love love ... but more in falling love with yourself all over again. Its like that relationship when your ex returns and you dont want to have him but also not let him go.

Oh , so I am sure your work might be keeping you busy,your work sounds exciting?

Yeah it sounds exciting. Lot of excitement, its kept me busy , really busy, so busy that 7 years passed

Are you being sarcastic?

No, great-full.

So what exciting are you doing in this city?

I got myself on Tinder, 

Are you serious 'Tinder'?

Well that was the most easily accessible app, but the excitement died soon, most of them were part of a common army known as MODI army

Listen I dont give a damn about China , Korea or how he does as a PM?

Yeah well, I have also stop asking this question.

So Why Mumbai?

aaaa.......

aaa,,,,,,,,,,

hmmmm.......

I will get back soon to answer this

When wisdom came visiting on Sunday

Till 10th standard in school, I hated sundays, because it was followed by a monday and monday's were not my days. The little girl inside still feels same on some days , you know it when the following Monday has not much to offer.

The only good thing is that finally its summers and its time for the light bright , colorful clothes. As i packed the black, blue and maroons, i took out whites, pinks, peaches.  I hate winters, you have to carry so much load on already loaded life. Summers drain you, kill you but there is hope.

Towards evening walked in my house my only surviving grandparent , rest have left. Looking at him I wondered, he was the scariest of the rest three, he ate (non-vegetrian), drank ( alcohol, even today), screamed and loved getting pictures clicked, in short the worst of rest three, they were god fearing, vegetarian , teetotalers and look who survived. Now that others have gone, suddenly his heart has started pumping  and we see a soft caring man. I wondered did my grandmother left her heart with him, because this cant be a change of heart at this age.  

He asked about my work and next travel plans and adjusting his big old frames, took out something from his pocket. I had a smile, I thought my auto fare for the week was covered. But no he showed me a scribble , an urdu writer showed me two lines written in English.

I put my heart and soul in my work,

and have lost my mind in the process.......

And I wonder how do these parents and grandparents know what you arr going through and always have wisdom to offer. 

The cheapness of a cheap wine

This what cheap wine does to you, the more less you want to pay for a cheap wine the more cheapness you regret the next morning because that cheap wine makes you do all cheap things the same night.

You wake up with the thought I am 27 and every time I do the same mistake which most of us wine drinkers do, calling the right numbers and wrong people. The story doesn’t end there, there is a certain kind of enlightenment that comes from within after drinking cheap wine. And todays enlightenment is that what goes around comes around.  No,  not wrong people infact even they do, just when all this while I thought that there are enough people around who think and work alike and that I just refused to spend time or even talk to a fair rich real estate agent. And suddenly all those think alike people with whom there would be so much to discuss but no time.

Depend where you are coming from, you don’t get up everyday with thanking your stars. When a happening Friday night makes you wake up to a lonely life. And hello I am here in no way cribbing about being single in mad city. Sometimes you don’t want to be with yourself, that’s it. 

Letter to Babaji

Dear Babaji, 

I am writing to you to kindly take this mail seriously, please acknowledge receipt.

You are my favorite and you know that I am my favorite. But with a recent turn off events with you sending such people I am wondering what’s going on. Babaji you really need to stop playing hide and seek with me, seriously I wonder after traveling almost to every corner of the country and Abroad where have you hid that one intelligent guy.

And if you have left that task on me I want to ask you, have you ever visited a club? Half of the men there are gay and other half engaged . So what do you expect now?

My life has been very happening till now until recently when my parents have thought of putting an end to this happening party by getting me into a contract. Now as far as the matter is of getting into contract it’s not that bad but I am a little skeptical of getting into a contract with people of the same biradri.  No offence babaji but you only tell me how dramatic are the people from this community. Forget anyone else my own mother is a super drama queen anyone outside of the biradri is madrasi for her.

 The agony doesn’t end there my brothers and sisters have a long guest list and song list in their mind and just because of that it has to be a Big Punjabi  Vyaah they can’t think of a sophisticated simple marriage. My uncles and brothers have been tankers and they think this is the perfect way of returning the favor by having unlimited booze on atleast the cocktail.

Not only this babaji it takes lot of courage to tell people why you are still single when Simmo Vimmo and Kammo are married and raising babies. Everyone has a boy suggestion to make like telling what is a best married course one should apply for. And when they ask me what I do and I say human rights they think it is something to do with the dharna king,  two month chief minister of the state.

Babaji I humbly request you to put an end to this suffering and please send a person who understands the intent of this letter and laughs at it.

Yours favorite,

Mad Punjabi Girl. 

The Bustop !

Some good years back three convent school girls in their salwar kameez and starched dupatta were waiting for DTC bus at the bus stop. One of them took out her neatly covered in brown paper with name sticker rough note book. She opened the last page and took out a natraj pencil from her pencil box (then what ever written in pencil could be easily erased). They wrote qualities of a nice guy:they wrote fair, smart, handsome and convent educated. They had also picked boys at the bus stop ( well easier picking boys then), i mean selected convent boys who were waiting at the same bus stop. The naughty one jumping around with silky hair was every ones favourite. But one girl differed she picked the one wearing specs and reading goosebumps early morning. The other two made fun of her and taunted her saying he is an uncle, she replied that she likes serious , quite and mature guys. After few years when they attended the farewell party with the same convent boys they discovered convent boys are no more interested in convent girls . Except a few, which then went on to become school romance love stories.

Soon after school and in the second year of college waiting with a male friend on the bus stop, the convent educated girl was in a discussion. Though blushing she told him she would only date a guy who has a car and not make her walk or wait at a bus stop. The guy laughed and said look for men who are not studying, because all the cars outside college were not the cars of the boys but their father's. Well he had  a point to make. And still all you wanted was a nice guy who is good with you and takes you to parties in his car and later if you are lucky you get married to him and then the car either comes as a dowry or if he does well in his papa's business.

But if you cross that and then take a bus to office everyday. Morning and evening you wait for the bus, sometimes run behind them on roads and travel with all kinds of fellows. You actually realize the importance of your hard earned money.  And then in your office where there are men in more proportion to women and some real gentleman. After work when you go out for coffee or drinks with these men you realize there is a boy still in them who has refused to grow up. Its fun to be around such boys,  who are in transition.Its fine to date them but who wants to marry them? Let Mummy Papa find a nice guy with a good package and his own car.

It is only with buses that one goes, and the other one comes, because real men don't come again and again. Then you hope for a man , who takes care of you ( this need of being taken care by someone), actually waiting at a bus stop your mom calls you and sends you the photos of boys who have turned into a man and ready to take the plunge.  

Then when you meet a man some two bus stops away from your home. Sitting infront of him you wonder wether he matches the list written in your brown notebook, or the guy you discussed in college. And you realize that maybe i have not grown i am still that girl looking for a boy at heart in a man's body.