The Mad House Series XIX

Sleepless on Mosque Road.

There can be a number of reasons to have sleepless nights on mosque road. The reason can either be your love or your loving boss. But this time its the boss who is having sleepless nights after he heard Mr. P.  

The boss is increasingly worried about the growing bellies of Mad people. There are two types of growing bellies the pregnant ones and the beer bellies. So you can see some like Mr. AA and the Mad writer having the beer bellies. And then you can see the guy in yellow shirt on third floor and Mr. P with a new kind of male pregnant bellies. Wonder who is carrying the kid? 

Well the Boss is overly concerned and leading by an example by not having either of them. Well he cant do anything about the beer one but thought to do something about the pregnant one. 

So when he met Mr. P recently and asked who is pregnant? Because it seems Mr. P is giving a good competition to his better half.

Mr. P replied if I can , I would raise an Indian Cricket team of my own , so that I can go on paternity leave everyyear.

The Boss looked hasseled at the answer and said poor me. 

Mad House Series XVIII

Confession of a Shop -o- Wala

A lot happens over a cup of tea: 

My shop is two shops away from the Mad House. Though I provide tea to everyone on mosque road my biggest sale is smokes to these Mad people. They work and party so hard that they need them, i cant even deny looking at their deplorable condition.They work like a gadha and smoke like a monkey. I see them coming at odd hours and never going back, i feel my shop is only place where they come to refresh themselves.

I can proudly say I am the only person who is not scared of their Boss. But i see and hear alot about him. They come here when they are sad, they come here when they are happy. I get to hear it all. I hear politics, laws, love, break ups and everything and anything. You dont want to hear what else do i know.

Funny women come here and share things, forget that funny men also come here and share everything. My shop is a place where love happens. So if two people are falling in love they will sit closely on the bench opposite and talk softly and order two tea, special one. When somebody is gossiping they sit on the side bench and order soft drinks. To discuss politics  they come in group and sit where ever they find place. 

They eat, drink, smoke and forget the bill. When it comes to paying the figures add upto the address of the Mad House in a week. Its only after paying that make promises to quit smoking. But the resolution lasts even less than 24 hours. Who are they fooling? when they start with one drag and one drink and the story remains the same.

Never save a life

If someone arrives with their bags and have no friends in this city, never save a life, because later circumstances would be such that you will be packing the bags and leaving the city.

If a girlfriend and boyfriend are fighting, never save a life, because they will in the end up fighting with you.

If someone is drunk and needs an ear to hear , never save a life, because you would be needing a drink and they would be needing a different ear to talk about you.

If somone needs you to shop with them, never save a life, because you might not have enough money to shop and get over them. Dont shop branded stuff for people because you cannot afford to be disloyal to brands. 

The irony of being good

Yes I am a delhi girl. I belong to this city. I have fashion sense of this city. I dont wear black shoes in summers. I have enough clothes for summer and winters seperately. I love shopping , I earn and I shop. 
I am not famous like you, who wants to be famous for all the wrong reasons. But for sure I am not a cheat like you, I wish I knew cheating I wont be writing this facebook status.  I am good at being rude. I am fine being an overweight white girl you can call me cute or gothika. 


Yes I call myself half British, atleast i know what i want and this doesnot make me half a human. If you want to believe that you will see me some years down the line raising kids, i dont find anything wrong in that as you are reading this because your mother raised you well. And if you really want to believe in this five year theory, people dont last, relationships dont last and beyond that I hope you have heard of tsunami, tornado.

Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kutch Kaha......

Yunki... Aisa hua , ke humne socha ke 

aapke kyhaalon mein baasi photo ko

ek chehra de.

Thanks

Anubha Rastogi and Abhishek

The day when Yamraaj came visiting Mad House

Mad House Series XVII

One day a young lawyer frustrated with the working of the judiciary in this country was returning home. He was having arguments in his mind, the judges dont understand, the boss doesnt understand and then suddenly he tumbled over a stone and fell. He got up and found himself next to a black buffallo. And the person sittting on it appeared to be a character from Ramlila ground.

The young lawyer walk passed the buffallo and the man and thought that he had seen this man somewhere. He tried thinking hard, " what if we the moustache  was removed and specs were added". He suddenly remembered that this person resembles the last person he had seen in the office and on giving a little more strain on his brain he realized that this person on the buffallo resembled The Boss.

He smiled and looked back and found the person on the buffallo smiling back.  And right behind him crowd had gathered, he without understanding what has happened rushed to the crowd and found in no time, that it was Yamraaj calling and now his time has come.

Since he was so upset with everything he smiled at the buffallo man and considered going with him. Anyway this was the only way the Mad People could claim some defend the defenders fund. 

When the young lawyer and yamraaj was about to leave a police alarm rang. The yamraaj was very surprised how did police arrived at a short notice. But later discovered it was the ringtone of the young lawyer, whose Boss was calling. 

The lawyer pleaded with Yamraaj to let him attend the call or the Boss would get angry and say " Boss you have stopped attending my phone". When the Yamraaj reminded him that he wont be going to the Mad House anymore. But still the young lawyer wanted to thank the Boss. The Yamraaj agreed and the young lawyer attended the phone .

Something like this happened:

Young Lawyer : 'Hel..." (even before completing the word)

Boss: " Hello ... Where are you Boss? I told you to sit the whole night and finish the petition and you merrily leave the office as soon as I go" 

Young Lawyer: I just came ...

Boss: I tell you , you young generation has no passion, you are all lazy, you dont want to work.

Young Lawyer: I am with someone and he is taking me with him, I wont be able to come back.

Boss: How can you go like this ? Come back right now. Who is it that is taking you without my permission?

Young Lawyer: He has a buffallo and is not ready to listen to me?

Boss: Give the phone to him, you have such important petitions lined up, how can he take you. Tell him later, once you finish the work, we will get you a taxi, leave the buffallo.

Young Lawyer to Yamraaj: Please, my boss would like to talk to you.

Yamraaj: Hello, Yamraaj speaking

Boss: Mr. Raaj , whoever you are, how can you take my junior without my permission. Is this the way, this how you work, no ethics. You come back right now! Did you even bother to ask me? Did you take my permission?

Yamraaj (confused): I never knew I had to take your permission as well.

Boss: No No Boss, dont give me that crap, you better let him come now and finish his work. You can take him some time else.

Yamraaj confused, scratched his head same way the boss does and left the lawyer.