The MAD House Series XI

The story of the dust in bins

Like all the MAD people even the things in MAD House are of great importance. Like files, which are piled and hold stories, flags which all will have somewhere in their drawers but will still ask others. Pens which have become expensive and the every morning search for bands and gowns.  This is a story of dust bins, the new attraction of MAD House and the story behind them.

Miss is an old deligient worker of Mad House. She is one with information on whats going in and whats going on. There are days when the boss cannot survive without her as she connects him to the world and there are days when the boss disconnectes her from the world.

On one such black and white morning of  MAD House, the boss thought of adding colours to the MAD House, after all there are no colours in life if you work 365 days in MAD House . The Boss asked Miss why are there no colours around? Miss thought of not answering what could she say, she continued with her regular morning work. She thought he will forget, who thinks of colours on a busy morning, but the boss was giving it a serious thought like a new petition before the chief justice. But they are things which the Boss never forgets.  So he came out from the washroom and repeated himself " can't you see there is not even one colourful thing around in this MAD House. Isnt this your duty?"  The surprised Miss  looked around was part of her duty included of keeping a check whats in and outside a bathroom. She promised not to spoil anyone's morning and hence kept quiet. But then  the boss said " Before I come back , get new colourful dustbins, atleast those would add colours".  When all this was happening Mr. A A was sitting in one conor trying to hide from the Boss, he was hiding not because he was scared of the boss but because he was hungover on a working day.

Once the Boss left everyone breathe at ease and Mr. AA almost smelling of German beer said " finally Miss you have a mission for the day". His statement got him stares from all the people around him. The moment boss left Miss finally got into action catching her breathe running from pillar to post getting amount sanctioned for beautification of MAD House. Miss along with her friend left for the market she had to complete all this before the BOSS returns. Now no one in this country knows how the justice system works, sometimes urgent matters takes days to come and other time the judges only dont come. Like Miss AR said there is only one f* word for judiciary "frustrating". 

The shop keepers had not even opened their shops for the day when the two ladies arrived. The ladies ordered dustbins, fashionable, colorful dustbins . The shopkeeper thought to himself maybe the garbage picker has not come yet hence the urgency. First he showed them simple white dustbins but both ladies shouted at him in sync "no we want colourful and different dustbins"  This resulted the shopkeeper showing them most fashionable and funky dustbins which are colourful . Hence he showed them the brightest dustbins the ones whose colors can definitely get noticed. The two ladies bought dustbins for every corner of MAD House, resulting in all people getting dustbins. That was a great day for all the people of Mad House were given dustbins. Even the washrooms had bright red dustbin and shinning new mirror. The two ladies spent to their hearts content on dustbins.

When the BOSS returned to office he was very pleased with the effort of Miss . He even patted her and complimented her for doing an excellent job. Miss was so pleased that finally her day was made. Meanwhile Mr. AA also returned still half drunk he said looking at these dustbins and said that the dustbins remind him of the various European countries and its affliation with the dustbins. All Mad people laughed at this, they had understood what witty Mr. AA meant.

Few minutes later Miss B arrived and called for Miss, she got up from her seat, adjusted her duppata properly, wore her best smile and checked herself in the new mirror and then heading towards the cabin. All of us were sure she would be appreciated for the dustbins.

But just like the waether of this city and the Boss's mood both are unpredictable. Truly no one can predict what can happen the next second. And now Miss returned with a sad face, we all knew something had happened. And then just like the boss doesn't forgets anything he even tends to forget that minutes before he had praised you. Miss was so upset that she thought of leaving, after all do you appreciate some one like this for their work. All of us were scared but tried consoling her. Some offered her tea, some chocolates and others soothing words but then half drunk Mr. AA said what no one expected, he said " if you want to leave don't worry, I will type the resignation for you." Hence this added spark to the fire and surely one new dustbin, on its first day was filled with tissues of tears.

You, Me and Elvis Presley - Part I

   

Best pic of lovers in rain, though this story is based in Cal

This sunday when i woke, i started scribbling something. I read lot of fiction books and here comes my fictional story.

Its raining cats and dogs and I am wearing my red heels with my black dress, holding my umbrella. I can see a guy just standing two feet away staring at me, he is not any usual american, you get to know, he has dark hair, probably he is an asian and then giving a stare back thinking that well all Indian men are like this staring at women is a habit. And when I give a second stare I realise its a familiar face. Here in rain, in America, in Cal an Indian. You finally smile, you have recognized me and you start walking towards me. Whenever any such situation comes in my life, I turn filmi and I recall the hindi filmi dialogue “ well this had to happen , after all we are meeting”. You were there infornt of me, years had passed that smile was same You walked in the same style with that smile and i mange to smile back. All Indians help other Indians in an unknown country. So i asked how are you, what are you doing here? I didnt wanted to say its a pleasant surprise. Because it was no more a plesant surprise seeing you when i least expect. And I am no more that single girl who could say that. And then we have met again and again in different countries in similar situations. You raised your hands in excitement to hug me, I hesitate but then I hug you back a small one. Last time I has hugged you when you outside Russell Square Tube Station, you were so surprised, you took a step back.  And in Delhi I was so taken a back that I almost didnt react when you hugged me at the Thai restaurant.
But its a common situation when you see a known face in an unknown country.The rain was getting heavy and you were still smiling, I invite you for a coffee because we Indians believe in hospiatality. You are still smiling and you dont have words, by mistake my red heels step on your blue shoes and instead of saying something you start singing Elvis: “Don't step on my blue suede shoes”. Very funny, you know when to add humour . I can see you are still checking me out, My heels , my bag, my dress , my umbrella. But this is still better because in India I have caught you staring at wrong places. Remembering this I smile and this brings back all the memories of you, over the years we have shared, in different countries.

We walk to the coffee shop down the road, i try sharing my umbrella with you and you are still smiling rubbing your nose with the sleeves of your shirt, you did the same thing in London when it was freezing cold and you had a running nose, you didnt had a tissue and you wiped your nose with your overcoat. I am smiling thinking why again we meet, or yet again we meet, this story has lot of twists and turns but then suddenly I look at the sparkling diamond on my finger. And the smile turns down, whats happening i think to myself but i have certain ethics, i would have never turned down any Indian in this foreign land and after all i know you. It brings back the memories of the night in Delhi and the promise I made to myself to not meet you again in my life. But this story sure has something because this is the zillionth time I am meeting you, after regretting 9 out of 10 times. Anyway now that I have invited you for coffee I can ask you whats happening in your life and what brings you to Cal.

I keep my umbrella at the enterance of the coffee shop, walking in my red heels on the slippery floor and suddenly I slip, Thank God you were walking behind me and you caught my hand. This time we are not intentionally holding hands, the our story is making us hold hands. In Delhi we got drunk just to act drunkards to hold hands . You pull a chair for me and ask me to sit, still holding my hand, you have held it so tight that the diamond on my finger is hurting, reminding me some thing. I sit and try releasing my hand. I think we have grown over the years because now the feeling of you holding my hand is not the same. You come and sit across the table and to end the formal air between us I cant stop myself and ask you... Itni Tameez kahan se aagaye (Where did you get these manners from). You smile and reply I was always like this , you never took me seriously. I look away pretending to call the girl behind the counter. And i think to myself if you were always like this then why did i not ever see the good side of you. Forget it I smile realizing to myself though I knew you were like this i had accepted it and it was fine with me. The coffe shop's CD player is playing Elvis again: Don't Be Cruel. I smile Elvis , you and me, we have a strong connection.

You place the order for two Capcuinno, and one blue berry muffin. I look upto you and think to myself are you thinking of sharing the muffin like before. I sweetly smile and ask for a chocolate one. You remembered even after years that we ate blueberry muffin. Do you remember the first time we met in that flight from Mumbai to Delhi, Oh God that same smile of yours and I offered you my half eaten muffin and you accepted. We were strangers then. But even that time there was something between us. But again you did exactly what I expected smile and shrugged your shoulder , I knew you wanted to say the usual lines, do whatever you feel like or your wish. SO i finally ask you “ What brings you to Cal” and ofcorse I am not expecting the answer 'you' but for the first time when you gave that 'our' look in my eyes as if saying 'you', you smiled and said holiday.For the first time I didnt have any questions for you, unlike in London I showered you so many questions within 10 minutes after we met, that you were so taken a back. That time I went a little overboard went on to ask everything which I shouldn't have but that time we were kids, mean young and and I was a girl some what in Love with you wanting to know about whats going on in your life and is there a girl in your life. Our coffee arrived and we had our muffins seperately, gone those timings when we use to share taxis,muffins, beer and room.

When last time I met you in Delhi I was quiet, i had grown over the pain and accepted the way you are. This time you were different, you were quiet, you just kept staring me I dont know what you wanted to say and when I raised my eyebrows making an expression , you looked under the table. I was sitting with my legs wide open, i quickly bought my legs together, its you and I dont have to be formal, but thankfully you were looking at my heels and then you asked me “heels!”, how do you walk? I know what you meant, I never wore heels in Delhi except when I went out partying with you, I wanted to look taller and then also a reason for me to fall here and there or hold your hands. I replied saying This is Cal....

I finally asked you what are you doing here and you without hesitiation replied 'a girl' , now this came as a shock to me, i could feel my cheeks and ears turning red in jealousy and I knew even my face showed it. Even after years when I have nothing why am i feeling this jealeousy and at the same moment I had a sip from my coffee and when I bought the cup to my lips i could see my fingers on the cup and on that one finger that diamond ring. This ring bought me back and I thought how does it matter to me.

The MAD House Series X

The  MAD letter

Dear Boss,

I am writing this note in the same way Arvind Aga wrote White Tiger. I have found this new courage to write a note after all the support I have recieved from the MAD people who have liked these notes.Now  that they have liked these notes so much that I thought of making a blog , just to let you know that the blog is of the same name as the notes.

Also I would like to bring to your notice that this MAD House doesn't have a wider audience, it has an audience of a few MAD people who understand these MAD situations and you. Otherwise it wont make sense to a lay man. Now who would understand better than us that we should forget our victories and remember our failures. Even if we want to forget our failures, you wont let us. 

My dear Boss this MAD house is just a small gateway to the pressure we feel everyday at work. Not forgetting your anger which is like a pressure cooker. Why a pressure cooker because after two three whistles it becomes silent.

Now that we don't have access to facebook, we only have these series which distracts us , makes us laugh and then we come back to reality. Dear Boss we have given you the credit in all the series and they are incomplete without you.

Dear Sir I would like to draw your attention towards these MAD people, who are these MAD people they are none other than those who you see day in and day out. These MAD people don't have money but they have passion. Let me also not forget to tell you that for most of us you are an inspiration. The way you work non stop without having revital, we try putting half the effort with Liv 52 . No we are not drunkards its just we try releasing our pressure by drinking.

Respected Sir I would like to draw your attention towards these MAD Situations, now these MAD situations are not created in the writer's mind. Sir they are things happening in our environment daily. Now who would have thought that Mr. P's diary entry would leak , or the poor counsel who spent his summer in heat but honestly sir the Donkey situation and the Friday 13th are true. Now if the writer wouldn't have written who would have got to know that the ghosts were visiting Delhi, they kept blaming the communal tension.

Bossji, this is to bring to your notice that these MAD people have the courage to challenge Chidambram, but none of us have the courage to bell the cat. Even when  you ask a general question the only answer  we have learned to give is     " yes, yes". Now the other day when you asked Mr. R " Are you Mad?", even though he was not at fault he replied "yes, yes". And when you asked again he replied " Sorry sir, but this is true" . Now you see what I mean.

Hence this is a humble petition by the We , the people of MAD House, to let the madness continue  and our support to Freedom of Speech and Expression.

Mad House Series IX

A compilation of short stories:

Mad House is made of three things 1. The Boss 2. The MAD people and 3. The Mad Situations

If anyone wants to experience unity in diversity one should visit the MAD House is the place recommended to visit in summers. One can see its not only a melting pot of cultures but also it ressembles Indira Gandhi International Airport. 

One can easily be mistaken where one has landed because I mostly find people of my colour. This is the time the Indian Chineese restraunt down the road makes maximum business. And summer of 2012 is even special we have a rapper in the MAD House who is rapping everything except work. No matter how the days go but the nights are compartively cooler with number of parties not in MAD House but outside but these are coordinated using MAD House resources. 

Mr. T is an efficent advocate, works hard day and night and he works even when he is sick. But one day after a good hearing he left early to catch up on his sleep. It wasnt his fault but he thought rather than sleeping on his table under the Boss nose he goes home and takes rest. He left for home and his phone battery also died. When he woke up in the morning he recieved a message to call the BOSS. But since it was from the previous day he ignored because since its a day old it wouldnt be that urgent. He got ready and reached office before time. Somewhere his heart was pumping hard and as he got to his floor he looked left, he looked right with no one in sight he took a breath of relief. And the moment he sat on his seat he heard the Boss's voice, who was there even before him, as if waiting for him to come so that he can release all that he wanted to say the previous day. The matter which was a day old for Mr.T was not old for the BOSS and early morning he got to hear how efficent and inefficent he was. in the end the BOSS said to him" you see me when you come in the morning and show me your face when you leave in the evening'. The confused Mr.T had no option and followed the orders delligently. Weeks passed and months passed and the order became old but what remain was showing off the face and this time it was not directly to the BOSS,because our efficent and capable Mr. T hanged the Boss' s photo right behind his seat so he actually sees him when he comes and when he leaves.

This is a story of Mr.AA who works for the rights of everyone, is not gender biased, works for freedom of speech and expression and also right to self determination. He said this MAD House is a good compilation and should be documented. He loves praising people and hates annoying them . So the writer said that if you like it so much why didnt you click the  like button or write a comment, he says all the people who read don't have the courage to click the Like button. And they play safe, which I dont agree like true as in ofcourse play safe but no harm in liking it. This is hypocrisy so to all the people of MAD House this is just for fun and for our future generations to remember and to take break from the MAD ness and love it. 

Special thanks to our Indian Tom Cruzzz who let me get away from the madness and lend me his Vodafone net connect to write this, since Facebook is blocked in MAD hOUSE.

The MAD House Series VIII

MAD House and Friday the 13th

In the city of Honorable Courts it was Friday the 13th, the day people usually avoid roads and relatives because of myth of road accidents and fights. It was windy , not to cold not to hot and as noted by a British Lady that when the weather is such the people are usually irritated.

Down the road from the courts is a place called MAD House, not only by name but also by its activities its MAD and not  to forget its people. Usually on Fridays the atmosphere is relaxed at MAD House and especially when the BOSS is away for the weekend. But this was an unusual Friday.

A friday when the city of Honorable courts was visited by the spirits of hell. Some people say that it was a spooky friday and they saw two witches flying from the courts towards the Lodhi garden and in between falls the MAD House. But that day the witches didn't reach Lodhi Garden they stopped over MAD House. They had earthly desires so they possessed the body of two fair women at MAD House. And as rightly said that where there are two women there is always a gossip between them,  then how can this not be true for witches. The two fair women were carrying out their daily work when a gossip started and it ended in them fighting like witches. They didn't wanted to but it was the witches which were making them have fight of words. The bystanders were enjoying, where on Earth have men not enjoyed when two women have fought.

These bystanders made fun and added fuel to fire. The same afternoon a  senior ghost who was also wandering around could feel the presence of witches in MAD House came visiting by. But he needed to gain entry in the MAD house hence he possessed the body of a grey hair man who came from the court. Now this senior man speaks less and only what is required. But that day he spoke and that to on top of his voice, all the bystanders were surprised and shocked. And some did the same work of adding fuel to fire. Soon there was silence, but this was silence before the storm and those bystanders who were enjoying the fun of all this were not aware that the whole gang of spirits in search of their missing members had come to MAD House. Now it was not MAD House it was the Ghost House.

The two young ghosts who wanted to have some fun before they all leave for a stroll in Lodhi Garden entered  the body of a small bystander and a tall bystander. The two bystanders first laughed and with in no time fought , there were also joined by not so old witch. By now the MAD House had turned into the play ground for ghosts and like kids all were fighting. The tall bystander ghost punched the small bystander ghost. This  took all by surprise , no one had so much energy before in MAD House, this was an exceptional Friday. The punch was so strong that the boss could feel the tremors in the plane in which he was flying . The small young ghost was shocked and  had his hand on his face where he had received the punch. To stop the fight the guardian most powerful women came and first thing she asked was to check wether he has  lost his tooth or not. If tooth would have been lost it would have amounted to a crime of serious nature.  All the other ghosts started hailing that this was a grievous crime.

It was getting late and the gang of spirits had to return they thoroughly enjoyed themselves but left the peaceful people of MAD House in shock and awe. Till date no one in MAD House has forgotten Friday the 13th.

The MAD House Series VII

Live Reporting from MAD House

Breaking News: The BOSS's flight landed sharp at 11:20 am and flying over all traffic he has made to office in dot 45 minutes.  I the reporter is happy to report that I made it 2 minutes before the BOSS.

The happy smiles of 15 days have turned into frowns on foreheads. All are sitting ready at their table with pens and paper ready, as any moment they can be called.  The third floor people all dressed in formals for a saturday were the first one to meet.The assistant was ready with the bundle of mails printed before any questions start pouring, but to her dismay , when she was ready with mails she was asked about SMSs.

Ms. Breety  has already touched her work out target by walking to each desk over 15 times. Others have boarded their trains and flights from different parts of country and are on their way. Lunch time has been postponed to dinner.

We will be back with more updates.

The Mad House Series VI

Dear Diary,

Now that my wedding is two days old I still cant believe it has happened. Or these mad house people made it happen from the scratch from finding me a perfect  partner to being the perfet wedding crashers.

Just 15 days ago I informed all about my wedding an in such a short notice they were perfect guests. I am astonished at the level of  participation of the people of MAD House. Like the tradition I forwarded a mail to the common mailing list and as a formality gave them one card which is still hung on the notice board of the boss and the date of my wedding encircled like any of his other meetings. The card given in formality saw 90% presentation at the wedding as if there were orders passed by the boss for a full attendance of the staff for one of his meetings.

My family in consultations with all the planets decided a date of the wedding  and fortunately it was a weekend.  Least did I knew that this meant that they can finish all their work enjoy the wedding and then get back to work. I had perfectly planned to take a weeks break which is unusal at Mad House. As I remember one of my colleague who went for his wedding was asked by the Boss " How many marriages will you do in a month." On the other hand even  the judge in  didn’t wanted me to enjoy my own wedding and for that one order he had to pass he took almost a month. Two days before the judge tells me he has a wedding gift for me which he will give me after the wedding. And thank God he passed a remarkable judgment and if it was just one day before even Jacob would have attended the wedding.

But one thing I shall tell you that I am completely astonished with the dedication and since efforts of the MAD House, I think they have learned all this from the crazy meetings they keep organizing through out the year. And no matter how late  they reach for these meetings , they reached on time for my wedding. 

My family tells me that when the cars reached the teams were instantly divided. Few were assigned for food, others for bride and the rest for arranging booze which I had kept out of the wedding. But how could I forget that when meetings don’t go without booze how could a marriage would have taken place.

The moment I stepped out of my car all I could hear was the voices of MAD House people for a second thought maybe my driver has reached the wrong venue. If I knew these people were so hardworking I would have arranged my wedding in the basement.

It seemed to me these people were more prepared for my wedding than I myself was. Everyone had taken up a task and some were doing multi tasking. All of them danced in joy when I was entering the venue. The roles had completely reversed though I hired a professional photographer the BOSS captured the entire wedding on his latest gizmo. The tea guy read out the mantras, there were two DJ’s and all of them  were perfect dancers .

If I knew these people were coming I would have arranged packed dinner boxes for them. But all of them thoroughly enjoyed f the food and tried each and every item I had selected. Knowing about the capacity of these people, deep below my breadth I was praying that we don’t run short of food.

Just as I entered the venue all of them surrounded me taking full responsibility as if a fresh case has been filed. Nervous me had some relief when I heard their silly jokes around me. Not even far could I hear any of my relative. Before my family or the pandit asked to get the bride all of them in a hurry  got the bride. Well then I knew the reason behind this was that impatient BOSS who thought that the programme was running behind schedule.

The brides family though tried hard to be around her but these MAD House people had changed sides, from being invited from my side they joined the opposite team . I tell you these lawyers can never be trusted you never know which side they can represent.

Anyway within seconds I was married according to the Hindu Law as garlands were exchanged. They all shouted as if they had won a case or maybe got new funding.

Even before my parents and her parents could come to stage and congratulate . my entire family with their jaws opened saw a big gang on the stage posing for picture. 10-20-30 all of them on stage perfectly around the bride and groom for a perfect MAD House picture. For once the camera man even warned us that it was difficult to fit them all in one frame but some how he managed or he had a competition from the latest gizmo of the BOSS.

Within minutes they did what they were perfect at quickly thronged the dinner table and ate with a caution from the boss to carry the rest in their hands. Hence in another half an hour all of them left. But honestly they rocked my wedding.